red flashing lights clearly fading away

Flashing tail lights of the lead group disappearing up the road. The image comes to my head more clearly then the face of my first born child. Again I was dropped today, the 5th time in a row on the North road ride. Today it was traffic lights that broke up the pack but it is my fault that I was not at the pointy end of the bunch.

Even now as I sit at my desk I can close my eyes, lift my chin up slightly, my legs start to feel heavy and my hands start to get grip on imaginary handle bars. The red flashing tail lights of cyclists up the road syncopate together in a blob, tick, tick, tick-tick, t-t-t-tick, tick. The image is as clear as if it was burnt on the back of my retina.