Once a toilet block, always a toilet block

According to other reviews they may be 5 minutes from the city, they may pour coffee shots in regulation 30 seconds but in 30 minutes and 2 reminders they could not serve 4 plain coffees (2 long black, mocha and flat white). Not only that but they were almost non existent in looking after the customer. Sure they coaxed a chicken to lay an egg and served it poached to one of us, but without some caffeine to wash it down what is the point. The only comment we got from the goofy kid running the espresso machine, impersonating Castro with the hat he was wearing was "sit down and relax".

Finally we had had enough, we left. The staff did not even acknowledge us. No coffee on a fabulous Melbourne morning for 4 cyclists, NOT HAPPY. Just as the years of pissing in this ex-toilet block has made the urine impregnate the concrete walls that now serve as counters, so these counters have permeated through the hands, hearts and minds of the Kanteen staff and has given them the personality of a rams castrated testical, all the life sucked out of it through the use of a rubber ring. Not coming back, never.